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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is vital to mental health.  Perhaps you remember what it feels like to forgive and to be forgiven.  The result is often a reduction in worry, anger, stress, anxiety and upset.  Check out this article from Real Simple Magazine on the scientific importance of forgiveness.  The article also shares some amazing stories of those who have been able to let go.

“Bury the hatchet. Let bygones be bygones. Kiss and make up. We have so many ways of describing forgiveness—but so few strategies for actually achieving it. The key to letting go for good is understanding the psychology and the science behind your feelings. The grudge stops here.”  by Kim Tingley for Real Simple Magazine.

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The Five Whys as a Practical Tool for Problem Solving

Julie Entwistle, MBA, BHSc (OT), BSc (Health / Gerontology)

Being fully aware of a situation requires reflection and inquiry.  Yet, often what we see and feel on the surface is not necessarily what is truly going on.  Think of those times where you have become upset at your spouse, child, or parent to later realize that what you thought were upset about was really grounded in something else.  I know personally, I use long walks with my dog and music to try and understand any sources of discontent.  I find my walks enlightening and always try to ensure that I don’t speak too soon about a problem until I have taken that time to reflect.

At a recent seminar, we discussed the value of using the Five Whys to develop awareness.  This technique is grounded in the manufacturing industry to find the root cause of a problem.  For example, a conversation might go something like this:

 

 

 

 

  

Question

 

  

Answer

 
 

1

 

  

Why did a screw get missed on that tire?

 

  

That was missed by John.

 
 

2

 

  

Why did John miss that?

 

  

The line is moving too fast and he is missing every 15th tire.

 
 

3

 

  

Why is the line moving too fast?

 

  

We have deadlines that we are not sure we will make.

 
 

4

 

  

Why can’t we meet the deadlines?

 

  

We have three staff off right now.

 
 

5

 

  

Why are they off?

 

  

They are injured and have not been replaced.

 

 

By the fifth why, the relationship between the current problem and the root problem is determined.  Now, consider the use of that in daily life.  Why am I angry?  Because the kitchen is a mess.  Why is the kitchen a mess?  Because the kids ate and didn’t clean up.  Why didn’t they clean up?  Because they were going to be late for practice.  Why were they going to be late for practice?  Because they forgot about the practice.  Why?  Because it was not written on the calendar.  So, we can get angry at our kids for not cleaning the kitchen, or realize the root cause was our fault when we failed to use the strategy (the calendar) that helps them to manage their time.

Try using the Five Whys in practice when trying to solve a problem.  See if that helps you to truly succeed in understanding situations, getting to the root cause, and being able to make change to prevent the problem from reoccurring.

 

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What’s Your Real Age?

Can you really consider your age to be just a number when that number is a prime determinant in many things such as laws, insurance rates, and even access to treatment in a health care system?  Yet, there is a difference between how old you are and how old you feel.  So, beyond your birthday, check out this fantastic “real age” quiz that takes into consideration your actual age, current health, family medical history and lifestyle factors to tell you how many years younger or older you actually are based on your answers.  It also gives you custom tips to reduce your real age and feel your best.

Real Age Calculator

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Know Thyself – The Importance of Self-Awareness

Julie Entwistle, MBA, BHSc (OT), BSc (Health / Gerontology)

At a recent seminar on self-awareness we spoke about the importance of “knowing thyself” and the fact that is much easier to see the faults of others.  We discussed the cycle of self-awareness as follows:

  1. Become aware – be open to feedback.
  2. Reflect on the feedback provided.  If you can’t see it, you can’t change it.
  3. Understand your feelings about the feedback.  Use the Five Whys to reflect.
  4. Allow yourself the freedom to change.
  5. Master your mind.  Use mindfulness to accept yourself, to learn and to grow.

Consider that enlightenment is a journey and that the outcome of our lives will be based on the choices we make.  The focus should always be on control of self, and not the control of others.  This is especially difficult with parenting when we often mistake control for caring and by doing things for our children to ensure they are successful can hinder their own development when they will learn significantly more from trying on their own (even if they fail).
Consider that it is easier to deflect and avoid, but it is harder to be vulnerable.  However, vulnerability, and being exposed from a “heart space” is where growth can happen.  In fact, it is believed that by only by exposing our own vulnerability can meaningful conversations and relationships happen.