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It was an effective exercise in venting and I feel much better.  I wrote my blog on “Dread-ember” listing all the reasons I strongly dislike this month and the holiday season in general.  Then, I read it over, accepted my grievances, realized I was being grumpy (albeit honest) and admitted that I don’t want to bring other people down who legitimately love this season.

However, I will equate my problems this month with one word – STRESS.  December is, legitimately, the most stressful month of the year.  Shopping and presents, food preparation, cards, socializing, crowds, different schedules and routines, decorations, spending, pressure to buy the right thing for the right person – and not forgetting anyone.

1. PLANNING – this is everything.  Often the stress of shopping is not the shopping per se, but rather the planning beforehand.  Who do I need to buy for? What will I get them?  When do I need to deliver it or mail it so it is received on time? Spending endless hours in the mall looking for the “right gift” works for some, but for others some planning ahead of time can really reduce the stress of the season.
2. ORGANIZATION – plan it, buy it, store it, and then cross it off your list.  Make separate lists – cards to send, presents to buy, food to coordinate, functions to attend, decorating to do – then set it and forget it.  Pull out one list a week, tackle it, and then discard.  Repeat.
3. START EARLY – don’t be a dude and end up in the mall on the 24^th.  If you do, say hi to my husband.  Seriously though, starting early can really reduce the pressure to get it all done in time.  Personally, last year I was done my shopping September 9, and this year I bought my first present in February and was done in August.  Soon, I will use Boxing Day to shop for the next Christmas.  But being done early lets me focus on other things in December, and allows me to avoid the crowds and chaos on the roads and in the malls.
4. GIVE BACK – nothing says Christmas more than charity.  Think of those less fortunate, donate your time, no-longer used items, or money to those that are less fortunate.  Get your kids involved with this by sponsoring a family, sorting through toys they no longer need, or having them come with you when you drop off donations.  Have a social gathering and in lieu of a hostess gift, ask for items for the local food bank.
5. GET OUTSIDE – I agree with this completely.  Cold schmold.  Put on some layers and get some fresh air.  Snow is beautiful, the air is crisp, and getting outside will really assist with de-stressing and avoiding seasonal affective disorders.  If it is windy, hit the trails to escape the wind chill.  If you are alone, listen to some tunes.  Last winter I would always hike with my snow pants on so that if the mood struck, I was freely able to stop for some snow angels (which I do).
6. MAKE A BUDGET AND STICK TO IT – this world of abundance does not mean we need to live that way.  What can you afford?  Make a list within your budget, total it, and stick to it.  Financial strain is stressful anyway, let alone this time of year when there are high expectations to buy the right gift, that “wow” item, and to think of so many people.  Simplify – draw names, play a gift giving game, or just consider “togetherness” and a pleasant meal as your gift to each other.  Consider giving people photos you have taken in the year that you can print in larger sizes for minimal cost, or do what we do and make a DVD of the kids from the year set to their favorite music for the grandparents.  This year, we realized we have a bunch of Visa points and will be clearing these off to save our bank account.
7. MAKE IT PRACTICAL.  Sometimes the practical gifts are the best.  Kid’s activities are expensive and some money towards the hockey skates, dance outfit, or Karate uniform would be appreciated by most parents.  Or, everyone needs haircuts, and Mom’s love Starbucks or Tim’s, getting their nails done, a massage, or maybe even a housecleaning service as a treat.
8. LAUGH.  Never underestimate the value of a good laugh.  Time with friends, or a good movie can do wonders for the psyche during this hectic time.  My favorite holiday movies are Christmas Vacation and Elf, and of course the timeless A Christmas Story.  Grab some eggnog or a warm tea, curl up with a blanket and laugh for a while…
9. SIMPLIFY – try buying things online.  They come to your door!  Shopping online provides a practical way to compare prices, avoid the crowds, save some travel and search time, and to look around without being bothered.  Toys, books, games – these are all great online gifts.
10. DELEGATE – can anyone help you?  Perhaps provide a list of items to your spouse that they can grab on their lunch break maybe for the teachers, bus driver, or the table gifts or stocking stuffers.  Do you have a parent that can hit the mall with a list for you?  Can the kids help you with stuff envelopes and mailing these?  You don’t need to tackle the stress of Christmas alone. 

But the biggest thing I think we need to realize is that not everyone enjoys this time of year.  For some, it will bring terrible or sad memories, guilt, pressure, stress, financial hardship, anxiety, and loneliness.  Respect that not everyone can manage this season as they would like, and if that means you are missing a card, an email, present or phone call from someone you expected to hear from, let it go.  We all have different capacities to manage stress, and the holiday season is no exception.

I recently spent a week at Disney.  My daughter actually won the vacation through a draw with Air Transat, but I can tell you the price was not even the best part of our trip.

As it says when you enter the park, Disney is truly the “happiest place on earth”.  Disney does everything right.  The staff have a culture of fun, positivity, aliveness, and humor.  The grounds are spectacularly groomed and maintained.  They attend to all the little details in everything they do.  Right now, the castle is covered in icicles for the Christmas celebrations.  They even make waiting in line fun.  Disney is even up to date with technology and are piloting a wristband program to get you into your hotel rooms and the parks, charge items to your account, and let you get fast passes for rides.  The My Disney Experience app lets you know the wait times for all the rides and attractions at each park, allows you to book fast passes, meal reservations, park maps, and even plan your entire vacation.  Disney has an underground world where trucks deliver goods, staff come and go, animators and characters work away.  You can spend days in Disney and never see a delivery person or anyone out of character that is not a visiting guest.  They have even mastered the transportation system – from airport to hotel, to and from the parks, and even between attractions.  We never waited more than 15 minutes to get anywhere.  Disney employs 66,000 people – all there with a vested interested in creating a magical vacation experience.

Disney is amazingly accessible.  There is no shortage of scooters and wheelchairs, all the buses have ramps or lifts and tie downs, and many of the rides accommodate people either on a mobility device, or through an easy transfer.  All the rides and attractions are clearly marked to indicate how they can be enjoyed by people with different disabilities, and everything on video includes closed captioning.  Even when I went to Disney as a young child with my grandfather who had polio, I remember marveling at how well he could get around the park in a scooter, and how accommodating the staff were in helping him on and off rides, letting us go to the front because the lines were not accessible, or stopping the ride altogether so he could experience it.  And that was 30 years ago – long before it became culturally and socially unacceptable for people with disabilities to have to miss out because of their condition.

When you enter Disney there are free buttons you can put on to tell the world why you are there.  You can get a “It’s My First Visit” button or the “I am Celebrating” button that you can then write “birthday” or “anniversary” or “wedding”.  These are common and you see people all over the park advertising the reason for their vacation.  However, hands down the best button I saw in my week was on a man at Magic Kingdom.  His button said “I am Celebrating:  LIFE”.  Wow.  What a message.

That button hit home with me.  How often between going about our day, dealing with the kids, working, exercise, driving, eating, worrying, thinking, being angry, upset or stressed do we really “Celebrate Life”? It should not take a vacation for us to celebrate the one thing that we all have every day – regardless of everything else – our life.  In whatever form, easy or hard, young or old, able bodied or not, if we awake in the morning then we too have the ability to appreciate all that it is to be alive.  I am going to remember that button, the man that was wearing it, and of course an amazing vacation at a wonderful place.  Then, as much as I can, when I can, I am going to make a more conscious effort to ensure I celebrate my life and will try to help those around me to also celebrate theirs.